my Father
my Father is a collage a precious vision only those who know him well can see
like a rainbow that catches the eye of the gazer
a blazing sky of rich color that never loses its integrity...
my Father is a telescope that brings the furthest distance to my reach
he sees beyond the obvious and offers insight to complexities that plague the worried mind...
my Father is the echo of ages
the even path to reason his heart is a ship that weathers storms
and rises in the tumultuous waves of time and sails on in the name of peace however battered ...he is never broken
my Father is the patience of things waiting for spring
the long cold winter cannot undo him his soul is a summers day with all the lessons life can teach through seasons and sadness and perfect joy......
my Father's journey has been my inspiration to endure...
my fortune to inherit......his suffering has never shattered the glint of glee...
but if to ease just a moment of his pain.....id climb mountains and cross deserts
and in my heart i journey by his side...and am honored
my Father is a tower of treasures simple things
like afternoons together and priceless things
like the compassionate sound of his intelligent voice
his contagious laughter that heals my deepest sorrow
my Father is a silent mentor who teaches by his way of living
and i'll follow his noble ship through out my own journey...
over the ever changing courses and temperaments
of this awesome adventure that is our lives...
and i'll weather any storm
ThankYou Dad...

my Mother

my Mother's soul is the music of the sea
the hum of the waves and the whisper of the breeze
her song is the harmony of seagulls crying
and the laughter of small children
her footprints stretch the miles over years
long past
and even as the tide sweeps them into the ancient ocean
she goes on and on leaving love on the way...
my Mother's heart is the warmth felt at the hearthstone of lifes eternal flame
the hope that exudes from any dawn...
wether it be grey and misty...or bright and blue....
her heart is the Giving Tree i'd read about..when i was a child....
and it grows and grows....
my Mother's eyes are portals to the wonder that is life
to the things we keep beneath the surface..only she can see...
through the walls we build to hide ourselves
shes sees beauty like a fountain of liquid miracles
and captures it in the wells of her creativity
my Mother's hands are the carpenters of charity
building shelters out of her own sacrifice
making things grow where there was nothing......
her hands are worn from their endless use
but they are still strong enough to hold my hand when i am lost
my Mother's smile is a universe to behold
with all the dazzle of galaxies and the simplicity of a moonlit summers night
id stand in the path of shadows to preserve that light
my Mother's dreams for me are the roots of the flower that i will become
as i am striving to push through the tough soil of my destiny and emulate her.....
her dreams are my dreams and where the road turns and I must find my own way..
her essence is my guide........
my Mother is only one person with one life to live...
but i can see that all the lives she has touched
have given her immortality......
and that i have been blessed to be her daughter
will sustain me in even the most difficult of times.....
Thank You Mom......

she looks like a bitch,doesn't she?

You 'd rather pull your fingernails out rather than believe she isnt an empty shell.

I wish my bad dreams werent so realistic,and for once...a good dream..would come true.

hey.long time,no whine.
well forget the screens for the custom level i was making,I lost those when my hard drive crashed.Working on a new level now but I wont post pics any time soon.Not really a priority anymore for me.
***
Actually,nothing much is a priority for me anymore.Life has lost meaning for me. Days and nights blur together,and i seem to be waiting for something to happen..anything..that might suddenly make my existance worth while.But I know better.
***
I stay awake for as long as I can..till im so exhausted I wont think when I lie down.I sometimes think Ive run out options..at least any that seem worth the effort.Its a good thing I cant drink ,and that I dont do drugs.Im sure Id be dead by now if I did..after all, nothing can bring me happiness...imagine if I used mind numbing drugs or alchohol to deal with it.Perhaps,even that,is a fate im not worthy of.
***
the song Ruby Tuesday,she says.."Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind..a life unkind."

***
what do you do when realize that describes YOUR life.
What,indeed.